Social Networking Etiquette

Subtitled: Confronting Negative Comments

Original article by Peggy Jo Donahue
Commentary by Lisa Kan in RED is meant to be humorous. If you are a customer of mine and one of my Facebook "friends" DO NOT take any of what I have typed personally.

Uhmmm...

Nevermind.

Let's continue forward to the sage advice from MJSA industry leaders. (MJSA = Manufacturing Jewelers & Suppliers of America.)

Many Facebook novices worry about negative comments marring their social networking pages. But experienced networkers in the industry say nearly every online personality or brand has endured negative comments-and lived to see another day. The ones who have handled it well have even won praise.

You can please some of the people, some of the time, but you can't please all of the people, all of the time. If you get stuck on some negative person's comments to bring you down, get under your skin or ruin your day then they'll just keep on doing it. The better way is to stay positive and get rid of anyone who gets in your way. Remember sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will NEVER hurt you. So hurl around some "sticks and stones" and maybe they will hit the perpetrator.

"I welcome it as an opportunity," says Daniel Gordon of Samuel Gordon Jewelers in Oklahoma City. "In the past, people who were unhappy would go away without saying anything-and never come back. At least now I find out and can do something about it." The key is handling it constructively.

Is Daniel Gordon for REAL??? How would any one welcome a negative comment as "an opportunity". I think most people these days WILL tell you they are unhappy with you on Facebook by either saying it on your page or just canceling out on the "friend"ship. The key is to be on top of things and continuously monitor your Facebook page. Make sure everyone behaves and ONLY say nice things about you. Fortunately for me, no one has been rude enough to tell me they are unhappy with me "yet". But then again, you wouldn't know if they have... (wink)

If you get a negative comment from a customer, follow these guidelines for responding:

• Think before you act. It’s hard to react positively when your company has endured what might be an unfair attack. "First, take a minute before you react, so that you can craft a positive response," advises Ann Arnold of Lieberfarb, a manufacturer of bridal and anniversary rings who is active on social networks.

I would just get rid of the person and disconnect them from your Facebook page. I thought about it for one second too long and they are GONE. There's the big "X" to cancel them out of our relationship. Who needs negativity in your life? Read my Happiness post from March 3, 2010 Get RID OF THEM! ;o)

• Let your fans come to your defense. Waiting a bit before responding has a second purpose. Fans may quickly come to your defense-before you even need to say a word. It’s one of the reasons that Veronica Wei Sopher of Ben Bridge in Seattle takes the time to create a give-and-take bond with her connections in social networks-even on non-jewelry issues. "Sometimes a co-worker will ask, ’did you really need to ask that customer about her headache on Twitter?’ The magic of all that is realized when a negative voice shows up," says Sopher. "If I’ve done my job well, the strong and supportive community around the Ben Bridge brand will speak up and drown out the negativity."

Waiting will allow more people to see the negative comments, Veronica!!! By deleting the comment immediately, you can avoid having to explain the situation to the rest of your Facebook friends or fans. The key word is the Fans "may" quickly come to your defense. I'd like to bet on a sure thing. I'd like to know the negative person is gone before anyone else gets hurt. Besides what if you don't have a "Fan" page. Now why would a "Fan" provide negative input anyhow? You would not be a "Fan" or a "Friend" of someone or company on Facebook if you felt negatively towards them right? UNLESS... this negative person is just trying to infiltrate into your positive energy.

This is the reason why it is safer to have a regular Facebook account. Yes, Fan or "Like" pages as Facebook calls them now, allows you to have endless contacts but it also allows free reign for anyone to join thus later say absolutely anything on your page. With a personal account, you can "accept" whom you want and "ignore" whom you don't. There is a lot of maintenance involved but there is something I like about having control over MY own Facebook page. So I would NEVER wait. I would instead handle this the Lisa Way!!

• Apologize publicly. When you’ve given it a little time and thought, there’s a way to respond, say experts. A quick "so sorry you had a bad experience," is the first step. Then, get it offline quickly, says Sopher. "Ask: ’Can I communicate with you directly, so that we can discuss all of your purchase details?’"

There must be something wrong if a customer, who is a "Fan", is contacting you to resolve an issue on Facebook and YOU have to APOLOGIZE publicly. By the time it reaches Facebook, you already have not done your job. Why are you in business anyways? Why wouldn't you communicate on the phone or email before the situation escalated to this point? I think if it does reach this level of negativity then the customer just wants to send bad vibes on your "Fan" page. I for one would not stand for this type of retaliatory behavior. What happened to "forget and forgive"?

Another reason why you should not have a Fan page. A regular account will allow you to have up to 5000 friends. Unless you are a big humongous company, do you really need to have a news feed of more than 5000 people typing to you? How could you address the needs of 5000 people effectively? You would need to be on Facebook 24/7 monitoring each of their behaviors. Also, NO ONE needs to see how you handle these sensitive situations in a public forum. What I would do is to send a private email to the customer and then delete their public comment. That is what Lisa would do. And she would do it IMMEDIATELY before any other evidence is left. (wink)

• Don’t hit "delete." Though there’s a temptation to erase the offending remarks, it’s the worst thing a business can do. "A personal attack or one that’s vulgar, absolutely, you can get rid of, but otherwise, it’s better to engage publicly with a response," says Carrie Soucy of Miamore Communications in Providence. Companies that delete all negative remarks risk being branded as inauthentic and controlling, two qualities least likely to win you more fans. Worse, the complaining customer could spread the news throughout his network that you ignored or silenced him. Nothing makes social networkers angrier.

I'm not too sure about not hitting "delete". I think the complaining customer who is acting as a "Fan" coming to a business page to complain is up to NO good. Why should this person hold all the cards? There are moderated newsgroups and chat forums, why can't a Facebook page be moderated too. What's controlling about this behavior in wanting to maintain proper decorum by deleting improper posts? And what constitutes as an "improper post" is determined by ME!!! I'm in control here, right? If a customer is complaining this incessantly to have their negative comments reach Facebook, then maybe you should be OUT of BUSINESS!!! I think anyone taking bad experiences to a Facebook page is going too far and they should be canceled out of the relationship. They are not a "friend" or a "fan". These instances should be handled with gloves.... (not kid gloves)... but gloves as in "I'll meet you in a boxing ring" type of gloves. Challenge the complaining customer to take care of this like a man.

(Uhmm... but I'm a lady!! Maybe this won't work in my case. Nevermind.)

**********

These are some tips from jewelry industry leaders on Facebook etiquette. You can take their advice or mine. It's your choice.

But... IF you do it MY way, the Lisa Way...

tell me the story later and we'll both have a good chuckle.

If you want to setup a "Fan" or "Like" page as it is known on Facebook these days, here's another article you may want to read up on from the experts. The info may be a bit outdated since Facebook just changed a bunch of settings June 1, 2010!!:

Getting Started with Social Networking.

I hope I have been helpful!!
but if not...
then at least you had a good laugh

The Night Owl

Lisa

Let's Facebook It...

If you haven't noticed, my last few blog posts have been quite late in the evening or early the next morning, dependent on your perspective. It just so happens that I want to write and share my thoughts on the blog lately, more so than ever. For whatever the reasons, here I am.

It's just about 1 a.m. as I begin typing this post. Maybe I have too much spare time on my hands, have much on my mind or just like to stay up late blabbering on a computer screen to whomever wishes to read from me.

I'm a night owl. Always have been.

I get my best ideas as my mind wanders and a lot of work done when the house is quiet. After a long day at the torch when my hands hurt, generally the last thing I want to do is to type on a keyboard, but some days/nights I have much on my mind that I want to write.

Reverse psychology, you know. And amazingly when my fingers touch this keyboard, the thoughts just flow and I forget how tired I am.

In the past, during my studio breaks I would go flip through a magazine for inspiration, clean beads, have a snack, answer emails or knit a few rows of a project. Believe me there is ALWAYS something to do around here.

Since mid February though, I became more active on this social networking site.

Perhaps you have heard of this place?

Let's Facebook It...

Anyone and everyone it seems is on Facebook which brings me to the topic of this post. I had joined Facebook around late February 2009 only because by then I had already had a handful of invites from friends touting "you gotta get on Facebook". Even my sisters urged me to go on there so we could share family photos, etc. After Tucson of that year, I succumbed to the peer pressures.

I am usually good about resisting peer pressures, really I am.

So here I was on Facebook. The instant I signed on, all the automatic invites were my "friends" and then a bevy of other mutual friends saw the "friending" and the next thing I knew within a few minutes I had 20 friends. From there it continued to escalate.

I didn't know what to do with this Facebook. I mean I had a blog where I shared tidbits of my life as a beadmaker, jewelry designer, writer, etc. I didn't give Facebook much thought and throughout 2009 I visited my account sparingly. I was too busy being a writer and beadmaker traveling to shows to bother with Facebook. I barely had time to blog here.

Maybe I was asleep or just tuning things out but all of a sudden it seemed the whole world was getting on this Facebook. I started seeing mentions of Facebook on electronic trade newsletters. I started noticing more of my artists friends mentioning it on their blogs. I started hearing radio stations mentioning their Facebook fan pages. I mean there was NO escaping.

Facebook was EVERYWHERE taking over my life even though I didn't want it to. It seemed as if Facebook was this growing entity taking over everyone's lives and what was I doing? Was I missing out on being part of a social networking revolution? As an artist can I sit on the sidelines and just ignore Facebook? When would I have time to even participate?

A year went by and then I decided to take a leap. I began to believe that Facebook could help bring awareness of my work to a whole new worldwide audience. That, I as an artist, wanted to give back to a community by sharing more of my experiences and what inspires me to create. That I wanted to BUILD my own community of artists with common interests. So I set forth on this goal.

In mid Feb 2010 after attending the Tucson shows, I was determined to take a more active role on Facebook. As an artist, who is also a techie at heart, I couldn't let the signs of times ride along without me. I was jumping on a HUGE bandwagon even though I generally stride to a different drummer. And, Facebook was GREAT and there to help recommend "friends". And those who were my "friends" were also there to recommend me more friends. And I found some old colleagues from my past life as an engineer, so they too became my "friends".

I was asked by a few if I would start a "FAN" page. No, I was not going to start a "FAN" page because I barely had enough time to keep up with one Facebook page. I wanted Facebook to be a place I could share some photos and another side of myself that is not here or on my website. It was the most feasible method to share many photos in "albums" with a lot of people at once. There was instant feedback on Facebook, which this blog lacks.

Isn't that what we all crave when we are on Facebook, feedback?

I am AMAZED at my newsfeed these days. I can barely keep up with what all my friends are up to and I feel guilty at times that I can not respond to every one of their "news" because I genuinely do care about my friends.

Then I wonder what I could be doing instead of being on Facebook?

EVERY break from the studio since late February 2010, there I was checking Facebook updates. My mailbox was full of responses or requests for "friending". At times, the activity was overwhelming. I had to do something about this.

*****

Hey Lisa!!

Yes YOU, Lisa!!

Have you forgotten your purpose and goals in this life?

You should be CREATING!!

Get off Facebook!

*****

I could be doing a lot of other things but I also know that Facebook is an "investment" - as far as *I* want to take it - on being an artist and sharing my ideas. So I MUST be on Facebook to some degree but I must also not let Facebook take over MY life.

So these are my conclusions after actively spending 3 months on Facebook:

I've decided I don't want to go on Facebook to tell the world the minute details of my life. Who really cares? I will just visit now and then to share photos from my trips that I believe may inspire other artists. I will just visit again if I happen to be on a trip and had the most amazing meal at "so and so" restaurant so that YOU can visit too. Or I will post about an article I've written so you'll know what magazine to pick up next, if you enjoy and follow my work.

The day to day activities of me working hard in the studio... well that is really boring news.

Do you really need to know if I am happy, sad, tired, inquisitive, philosophical, etc.?

Really? (Said in a tone, as on SNL)

There is living and then there is LIVING.

It seems we are stuck in the mode of "reality shows" where we desire to get a snippet of others' lives. Facebook feeds this in each of us. I admit some people live quite interesting lives. There are so many photos that are not secured, you can see EVERYTHING on Facebook unless you know how to tweak the privacy settings and navigate safely. There lies one of the biggest problems people are lackadaisical about, the ability to secure their own privacy and learn Facebook.

WOW!!!

Tune in hourly and on a busy day my newsfeed is 300+ long. How can you really get to know a person from news feeds (unless they are already your friend in real life). It's just a slice of their life.

So if you are a "friend" on Facebook and start noticing that I'm not really there or why you don't hear from me much, come back here to read this post.

I'm LIVING, not living.

I have a gazillion things I'd like to do with the time I have spent on Facebook. Yes, Facebook is time consuming but I won't say all of it was a waste of time. I've enjoyed looking at my friends photos and seeing art being created. That is the best part of Facebook, connecting with like-minded artists, whom you would never otherwise meet in real life from ALL over the WORLD!! But I definitely don't want to contribute to the news feed clutter. I can only guess what some of you folks think about perhaps MY past news entries.

Besides between my website, this blog and Facebook, you'll know this girl is always up to something. There is only so much time in a day even if I don't sleep to get things done. Also, if you really miss hearing from me there is always email or the phone.

(Although I am generally in the middle of torching in the studio to answer phones. Nevermind, email me to call YOU back instead.)

Lately there's been so much news about how Facebook is disregarding their user's privacy, etc. etc. stepping over the bounds. But you know, YOU are in control here and are responsible for what you post in a PUBLIC forum. NOTHING is truly private on the Internet. What you share on Facebook is for all your "friends" to see and read whether you know them well or not. Even private emails and photos can be forwarded.

There is even a "quit Facebook day" (TODAY! 5/31/2010) proposed but of the few thousands that might quit, how many come back later? Facebook is like a drug. Does the loss of ten, twenty, thirty thousand or more members make a difference to the over half a billion people in this world that is on Facebook today? No matter the weaknesses of Facebook, it serves one major purpose. It brings people together and provides them an "audience".

What is ultimately sad about Facebook is not the privacy infringements on their users but that some of their users don't know how to communicate outside of Facebook in REAL life. The computer screen is their facade to create an identity which they wish to believe. I'm just saying this is the case of "some" not ALL people. I have really great friends I know in person on Facebook.

I have always loved the face to face interactions where you can see the other person's facial expressions and hear the inflection of their voice. I mean when I tell a joke, a "hahah" or "LOL" can only go so far online. And I *DO* have an excellent sense of humor.

But on the other hand, I've met a few wonderful people (quite unexpectedly) that I would not otherwise have had the pleasure of meeting if I was not on Facebook. Because in real life, our paths would most likely not have crossed, so Facebook has it's pluses. But on this other hand, I've met a few interesting characters that I wished I never came across too. I've dealt with those situations the "Lisa way".

So "Let's Facebook It" is a balance of time and in moderation Facebook will not take over your life (unless you want it to). Facebook should never take over anyone's life. If it has, then it's up to you to change that.

I'm making some conscious changes and tweaking my own behavior.

Facebook will not take over THIS girl's life.

No way, Jose!

Yes, NO way!

I'll have more to share about the business aspects and positives of Facebook from some industry leaders...

... but on a future post.

Later...

This girl has to get some sleep!

Time for these fingers to get some rest....
Good night/Good morning
Lisa

P.S. I bet you wondered when Lisa would stop typing this post. If I type this much, imagine how much I talk at these hours. Yep blabber mouth here!

Ume... Plum Blossoms... the 3 NEW Botanicals

Lisa is tired ...

VERY tired

What's keepin' me up is adrenaline and looking forward to my Santa Fe trip where I'll be seeing some of my favorite people, dining at some great eats, and just plain fun with artsy folks...

See previous posts for info on Bead Fest Santa Fe and the free pass you can print out.

Don't say I didn't try to save you some money!

Come spend it at my booth, will ya? (#208, at the Convention Center)

I wanted to write one more blog post before heading off to Santa Fe... just ONE more.

Does this redeem me for my lack of writing last year? Pretty, please?

Goodness I have been so active with my writing, its a wonder how I got all these beads made.

I know MAGIC folks.

So before my head hits this keyboard...

I want to let you know... for each show this year, I hope to introduce at least three or MORE new Botanical colors.

How is it possible to have MORE colors, Lisa? Isn't there a limitation to the color palette?

Well yes and no.

If you have a Color Goddess on your shoulders looking over you while you make Botanicals... then you are blessed to create infinite combinations of colors in differing shades and hues.

Hey besides, I know MAGIC!

So with no further adieu, Bead Fest Santa Fe attendees will be able to pick up the following three new colors. Please come on Thursday March 18th for opening night festivities from 5-9p.m. If you come, you will get first dibs on everything.

Everything is limited...

Don't say I didn't warn you to come early. If something sells out, well I guess you can always place an order and "wait".

I do make custom orders on rare occasions, only if you give me an extra $2 dollars for every bead or special request.

So, I am human and can only make so many beads each day. Don't want to have carpo tunnel.

But I have been productive even though some of you know that I have also been quite active updating my page on Facebook.

I can usually do 3-4 things at once and plan my time accordingly. Besides, by the time of this post, you'll know I really don't sleep much.

SLEEP IS OVER-RATED!!

Here's the new colors... as I need to get back to packing.

BT047

BT048

BT049

Well that's about all you need to know. The photos speak for themselves I hope.

And if you visit my website catalog, you'll find I have many sales going on... because there will be some interesting surprises coming

And I'm NOT telling you what they are... until you buy up all the items on sale.

So come see me in Santa Fe if you are near... I promise I won't talk to you to death. I'll probably be snoring behind the booth, trying to catch up on the Zzzz's.

Good night/Good morning

Yes, back to work...

Lisa

Passionflower on Knitting Daily Spring 2009

Let me introduce you to my romantic side again and again through my beadwork.

This is Passionflower...

This design was one of six designs, originally published in the April/May issue, which I created to share as Beadwork Magazine's Designer of the Year (DOY) 2009.

As you can see, I can't help but to be influenced by the Victorian/Nouveau period in my work.

This design is actually quite simple and quick to make. Don't let the finished piece fool you. It's one of my techniques in writing projects... to create designs that look difficult but are easy to create. Although it appeared in 2009, you can still pick up the back issue or the project PDF on Interweave's website.

Why am I going back in time and writing about this design on the blog, you ask?

As many of you know, one of my favorite things to delve into during the winter months is knitting with natural fibers (WHEN DOES LISA FIND TIME TO KNIT?) , especially that of wool/silk blends. I have been teaching myself knitting for the last few years but only realistically knitting for a few months because there is just so many things to do around here. I'm a fast learner and have knitted not ONE but TWO queen sized blankets that I'll share photos here sometime later)

(Lisa's informative side note: Your hands are the best creative part of your body... second only to your mind and imagination... your hands create the art that your mind thinks up! So folks, take care of those HANDS!)


So, I was clearing my mailbox of old emails and found that I had wanted to make a note here sometime ago but got busy. Knitting Daily featured the Diminishing Rib Cardigan, cover project from the Interweave Knits Spring 2009 issue, in a superb and wonderful gallery on their blog.

Now how does this EVEN have ANYTHING to do with the Passionflower DOY project?

Have patience my readers...

I'll get to the rest of the story. (For those folks who love trivia like me, this is a Paul Harvey reference.)

Well if you click this link you will find the answer but please promise to come back to my blog, okay?

I'm waiting....

Okay...

Thank you for coming back to my blog.

I appreciate you listening to directions. ;o)

So now that you've visited the link and even if you didn't, tonight I feel nice and HAPPY so I'll tell you what this is all about, anyways.

(I'm not REALLY THAT nice, folks...don't believe the rumors of my niceness from anyone who DARES to spread such rumors about me. Just go to my Facebook page and see how mean I REALLY am!)

The good folks at the knitting division of Interweave Press, was nice enough to model their Diminishing Rib Cardigan WITH my Passionflower design for Knitting Daily's Gallery.

How COOL is that?

That is Way COOL.

I love SURPRISES, don't you?

Sorry for the caps folks, I am just Happy.

I found this link quite by accident roaming around in knitting newsgroups searching for info, searching for yarn, researching as I do on most things I get myself into.

This was a WONDERFUL surprise and can you tell from the photos that all the models are HAPPY? They are HAPPY to be out in the sun and wearing my Passionflower necklace while wearing the lovely, beautiful Diminishing Rib Cardigan?

Being Happy is GREAT!

If you are puzzled as to why I have reference the word "Happy" or feeling of "Happiness" so often in this post, then you must read THIS POST from Wednesday March 3, 2010.

Go there NOW!

Then Come Back Here!

Enjoy Your Surprises

and BE HAPPY

Today, Tomorrow and Forever

Goodnight!

I'm Tired

Lisa

Stop For the Roses ...

Hi Everyone...

Yes, you are not imagining things...

It is I...

I am here...

Here I am...

To write to you because I'm in that kind of mood this evening and want to share some thoughts. Plus I feel sorely bad that I haven't really written here (my way) in a long long time... I sometimes get so busy with life, with work, with shows, with everything... that I am lucky to even have the energy to breathe, let alone sleep or eat.

I was reminded recently that there is much more than just working hard in life, there's the need to take a break and have some FUN. Granted, I admit my work brings me FUN and I make my work FUN. It's cyclic but there's hope for this workaholic still...

Which is why and how I selected my topic tonight. Plus a certain someone gave me the idea when emailing about "Why photos of roses evoked a sense of HAPPINESS?" (and I know he will probably read this so thank you, Mr. Certain Someone).

So what is Lisa talking about? and what is this topic "Stop for the Roses?" Well you know the old adage "stop and smell the roses". If you don't, I found Mac Davis's song by the same title and here are his lyrics!

Stop And Smell The Roses
Mac Davis
(Davis/Severinsen)

Hey Mister
Where you going in such a hurry
Don't you think it's time you realized
There's a whole lot more to life than work and worry
The sweetest things in life are free
And there right before your eyes

You got to Stop and Smell the roses
You've got to count your many blessings everyday
You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road
If you don't Stop and Smell the roses along the way

Before you went to work this morning in the city
Did you spent some time with your family
Did you kiss your wife and tell her that she's pretty
Did you take your children to your breast and love them tenderly

You got to Stop and Smell the roses
You've got to count your many blessings everyday
You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road
If you don't Stop and Smell the roses along the way

Did you ever take a walk through the forest
Stop and dream a while among the trees
Well you can look up through the leaves right straight to heaven
You can almost hear the voice of God
In each any every breeze

You got to Stop and Smell the Roses
You've got to count your many blessings everyday
You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road
If you don't Stop and Smell the Roses along the way

You got to Stop and Smell the roses
You've got to count your many blessings everyday
You're gonna find your way to heaven is a rough and rocky road
If you don't Stop and Smell the roses along the way

******
So that's what I meant by "Stop For the Roses". Mac Davis said it better than I probably ever could.

And since I am talking about roses and stopping for them, why don't you mosey over to my Facebook page when you get a chance. Remember all those photos I promised to share from my trips but didn't get a chance to here? It is much easier to share with everyone the bevy of photos I capture on my adventures on Facebook.

I have started to upload collections of photos from various U.S. gardens I've had the pleasure to visit. And many of them have photos of roses, so how appropriately fitting I would tie this in with this evening's post topic.

(big smile... I am a sneaky one.. better watch out for me.)

With time, I will share with you select photos from my photography archives. This girl tends to get trigger happy when she has her Powershot G9, so there are lots of photos to go through and limited time to do so. But you will start seeing them on Facebook if you visit my page there.

I have more to write but have to save it for later this week. This girl has been up since 6 a.m. and although I have more to say... I will stretch it out a bit... to share with you another day.

(YES! more than one post from Lisa this week...)

(The REAL truth to the sudden ending of this post is that Anthony Bourdain is coming on the Travel Channel. Okay I fessed up. I am both SNEAKY and GUILTY!) (wink)

Until next time,

PLEASE Stop For the Roses everyone...

(This includes YOU as well Mr. Certain Someone!)

Lisa